sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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