i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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