I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
do herpes really smell.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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