does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize