Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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