She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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