Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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