Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
