He asked to "fluff my boner.."
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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