VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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