Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
