At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
