Ketchup is God's man juice
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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