He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
