I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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