I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
