Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
