john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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