I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
