have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
