I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
