I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
