I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
