he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
