Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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