Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
