Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
