she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
