capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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