You surviving the open bar?
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he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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