New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
