whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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