I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
