That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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