You really coming over, don't trick.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
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