I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
