I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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