I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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