My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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