just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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