Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
