Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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