Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
