I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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