no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
