Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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