he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
