Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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