First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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