I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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