I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
