My Higher Power is John Stamos
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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