You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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