just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
