my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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