how can u be prego again
home. puking in laundry basket.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
