It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
