I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
