maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
