Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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