look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
