i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
