anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I've blown a few things in my day
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We need to get me chipped asap
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
