that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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